“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
-Annie Dillard
If you’ve ever felt like life looks good on paper—steady job, relationships, routines—all the boxes checked, but inside everything feels muted or flat, you’re not alone. So many of us end up running on autopilot, giving ourselves the bare minimum while quietly wondering: Is this it?
But here’s the truth: you don’t have to wait for big milestones to feel alive again. The shift happens when you start romanticizing the ordinary—when you stop treating yourself like an afterthought and begin elevating the small, everyday moments.
This blog post is adapted from Episode 66 of The Really Personal Podcast, where I share how to stop giving yourself scraps, why intention matters more than extravagance, and practical ways to create a life that feels elevated from the inside out.
Why Bare Minimum Energy Keeps You Stuck
Bare minimum energy sneaks in quietly:
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Eating straight out of the takeout container.
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Tossing on the same stretched-out t-shirt for bed.
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Rushing through showers when you actually crave slow, grounding rituals.
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Saving the “good stuff”—wine, perfume, candles—for “later.”
Each of these habits may seem small. However, together they send a message: I don’t matter enough to slow down for. Over time, that message gradually drains the color out of life.
As Maya Angelou once said: “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
What It Means to Romanticize the Ordinary
Romanticizing your life isn’t about luxury or performance. In fact, it’s not about Instagram-worthy aesthetics or spending thousands to feel elevated.
Instead, it’s about intention over autopilot.
It means treating yourself like someone worth slowing down for—infusing beauty, dignity, and joy into small, everyday moments:
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Meals: Plate your food, light a candle, pour your drink into a real glass.
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Snacks: Arrange a little fruit and cheese plate instead of eating from a bag.
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Evenings: Turn down your bed, lay out pajamas you love, light a candle before showering.
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Mornings: Make your coffee slowly, savor the aroma.
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Space: Add flowers, open the windows, tidy the corner you see first thing in the morning.
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Commute: Play a playlist that makes you feel like the main character of your own story.
If something stresses you out or empties your wallet, it’s not romanticizing—it’s hustling for aesthetics. True romanticizing should feel nourishing, grounding, and accessible.
As Oscar Wilde famously said: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Why This Works
Science backs it up. Neuroscientists have found that small daily rituals retrain the brain to associate ordinary activities with reward. By layering beauty and intention onto the mundane, your brain produces dopamine—the same feel-good chemical usually linked with milestones like promotions or vacations.
More importantly, it works in real life. Earlier this year, I stood on a cliff in Portugal with the Atlantic crashing below me. The salty air clung to my skin, and I thought, “I wish someone was here to share this with me.” That feeling was real, but so was the deeper truth: I was there. I didn’t wait for company. I booked the trip. I lived the dream.
That’s the power of romanticizing your life: refusing to delay joy, refusing to settle for scraps, refusing to hand your happiness over to someone else’s timeline.
How to Start Romanticizing Your Life
The best part? You don’t need a life overhaul—just consistent, intentional energy. Here are some ways to begin:
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Upgrade the ordinary: Treat meals, clothes, and routines with dignity.
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Choose intention: Wear something that makes you feel good, even on quiet days.
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Create mini-rituals: Candles, playlists, deep breaths, music, journaling.
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Care for your body and space: Both deserve beauty and attention.
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Take joy off layaway: Stop saving the “good stuff” for later.
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Protect your energy: Pause before saying yes, honor your boundaries.
Every one of these acts becomes a love note to yourself—a declaration: I matter. I deserve more than bare minimum energy.
As a result, the ordinary begins to feel extraordinary. You stop waiting for someone else to spark your joy, and instead, you learn how to spark it yourself.
Final Reflections
If life feels flat, it’s not because you’re ungrateful or broken. It’s because you’ve been treating yourself like an afterthought.
Romanticizing the ordinary isn’t fluff—it’s alignment. It’s how you elevate the way you live without waiting for the “big moments.”
So start now. Plate the meal. Light the candle. Wear the outfit. Play the playlist. Book the ticket. Show yourself, in a hundred small ways, that you are worthy of joy, beauty, and care.
Because elevated living starts when you romanticize the ordinary.
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