So for all those hopeless romantics out there, I’ve got a treat for ya in episode 3 of the Really Personal Podcast! Elise Baie and I sit down with a steaming cup of hot herbal tea while exploring the ups and downs of living a romantic life as a single woman.
Just how important it is to prioritize self-love? It is one of the biggest, overlooked decisions and actions in life. We are constantly fed the narratives of the expectations placed on romantic relationships to fulfill all of our needs in our lives. And the fact of the matter is that we are fulfilled in bigger and better ways outside of romantic relationships.
Accomplishing our normal activities on our own isn’t spending time alone. There is a huge movement towards solo dating, solo traveling, and solo living, and it’s something we should ALL do!
How often do we invest ourselves into relationships in fear of being alone? Let’s tear down these walls and embark on solo dating by going to a restaurant you’ve been hearing great things about, buying yourself flowers, visiting the art museum, putting on a ba-fancy outfit and ordering a cocktail at the bar while reading a book, buying that house you’ve been saving for, booking that trip to Spain, or catching the latest indie film at the movie theater.
It’s all about enjoying yourself, stepping out of your comfort zone, while continuing to grow into a beautiful person!
Guest of the show!
Living Your Best Romantic Single Life!
#1: You are in relationships all of the time!
Investing in others, developing communication skills, your boundaries, and how to love people really matters. And it goes without saying that decentering romantic relationships as the most important will completely transform your life. Yes, they can be an amazing, mutually supportive, nourishing relationship. (Who doesn’t LOVE it!) But here’s the rub- the narratives that we are fed, along with expectations, get placed on romantic relationships to fulfill all of these different needs in our lives, which ultimately ends up ruining the actual relationship itself and the beauty of that intimate connection.
#2: Learn about what society says about single people in your demographic and work on UNDOING that!
There are certain cultural stigmas and narratives that get attached to being single, and honestly, over time these things can just ingrain themselves as your own belief. Often you may not even know that you’re sitting in this hot mess. What we don’t want are these beliefs driving your decision-making when it comes to how you see yourself while single, dating, in relationships, and settling down. The stigmas are designed to keep you under some sort of control, feeling trapped and essentially conforming to who you think you need to be in order to find value.
Your value does not lie in your relationship status… PERIOD!
#3: Learn more about who you are!
In the episode, I share a really personal history of losing myself when I was in a relationship. Even when I was single, it took some time to invest and focus in myself where I learned more about myself– not as a partner, not as a girlfriend, and not even as someone trying to get a relationship to go in a certain direction.
Explore the following on your own:
- what are my values
- what are my ethics
- what things do I want and desire
- what are non-negotiables for ME
- what legacy do I want to leave
- what impact do you want to have
- what are my pleasures
- what are my joys
- how do I feed my soul
- how is my brain learning and growing
- what are things I’m investing in who I am
Of course, being single has its difficulties as does being in a poorly, un-nourishing relationship. And this isn’t saying that one is better than the other. It’s going to be different for everyone, at different times.
Romantic relationships can be beautiful, but they don’t define our worth or the value of our lives.