From a young age, women are placed in a specific timeframe: focus heavily on school, meet someone immediately, get married, have kids, and be good wives and mothers. Any divergence from this timeframe is considered detestable. While reaching academic heights is crucial to the elevation of the mind and soul, the other aspects of urgently meeting someone and getting married do in fact make us women feel miserable.

Christine Emba wrote a phenomenal and eye-opening book called Rethinking Sex: A Provation. Although this particular podcast doesn’t dive into the much-needed conversation around feminine sexual awakenings, there’s a beloved phrase that rings true in this podcast: “We’re liberated, but we’re miserable.”

 

 

Societal pressures placed on women to fit specific, yet unwarranted roles has lasting effects. I was beyond intrigued to enter the recording studio with Mansi Baxi to discuss the pressures women are facing, how they started, where it has led us, and it’s lasting influences on our singlehood and dating relationships.

Getting rid of these primitive pressures by replacing them with liberating ideals with its primary focus to live fully and freely without the constraints of societal pressures often leaves us lost and unbounded. This is where boundaries play an enormous role.

It is a safe bet that every human being has been frustrated and heartbroken in their search for love, and a time comes when we reach a breaking point when we suddenly demand answers to our ill-fated quest for love. I highly recommend grabbing a journal, opening a Google Doc, or even a notepad on your phone, and writing down 100 traits that you would like to see in your next partner.

If we are to create positive social norms, especially for each other, then we can begin defining healthy motivations (not pressures) that not only make us feel safe and secure but also free to continue to thrive uninhibitedly in this world.

Ways to change mindsets when it comes to dating without unnecessary pressures

 

#1: You don’t need to be in a perfect state in order to enter relationships!

Time and time again we hear that it’s only when your ducks are in order that you are allowed to embark on and embrace relationships. Life is a journey with its ups and downs where we’re constantly learning, pruning, and growing. Taking time for mental, emotional, and physical growth is never instantly achieved and remains a lifelong pursuit. It’s constantly evolving, and it can continue to evolve when swiping on dating apps and pursuing relationships.

 

#2: Keep the bad thoughts at bay!

We are constantly bombarded with negativity and insecurities. But as quickly as these thoughts enter our minds should as quickly go towards expelling them into the void. It’s a constant habit to self-coach and address these thoughts and reverse their effects. Of course, any form of resilience and self-coach may not obliterate such negative insecurities altogether, but at least it won’t hinder your pursuits, desires, and happiness. Only YOU have the power over YOUR life!

 

#3: We’re all in this together!

As nostalgic as that might sound, women and men need support and encouragement from one another. If your friend’s beauty and tenacities are one of the many reasons you care for her and the friendship, then tell her! We all need affirmations from our loved ones to help trump societal pressures.

 

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