Paradoxical dating advice has evolved from generation to generation, often complicating the pursuit of love. The constant need to play the game skillfully convinces us that with each strategic chess move, we may achieve the ultimate prize– a relationship. However, is it necessary to be confined to playing such dating games? Can the cards stack in our favor when we’re constantly controlled by these dating games?

A friend recently shared that 50 years ago, when a boy arrived at her house to escort her to the school dance or a movie date, she was neither allowed to open the door first or rush to greet him. Would the young man suddenly not like my friend if she broke this first date rule? This Bridgerton etiquette has long passed, but for some reason or another, we find ourselves still abiding by these trivial rules.

With the addition of online dating, the rules have become more vigorous and overly complicated. My married friends are the WORST in soliciting dating advice even though they themselves have since been in the dating game for a number of years. Some of the most ridiculous advice received are as follow:

Always wait at least 10 minutes before responding to a text message so as not to come across as desperate and too available.

Always arrive 5 to 10 minutes late to the first 2 dates so as not to wait on him. He should see you walk in, not the other way around.

Don’t initiate a phone call or message for at least after the 3rd date.

Admittedly, I have played some of these above hands regrettably. Recently on a first date, I purposely arrived 7 minutes late, taking the longer route just so the guy would wait on me. Similar to my friend’s prom 50 years ago, I was going to bedazzle him as a shining light beamed from behind me as I entered the restaurant. Here’s the thing- he arrived early like a true gentleman so he ended up waiting for nearly 20 minutes on me. Talk about a first impression! In hindsight, it served no purpose to arrive late, but innately, I was convinced this was the only way to land a date. Thank goodness it didn’t tarnish his impressions of me!

If we’re constantly given dating advice and tricks of the trade, then is it remotely possible to break free from these dating myths? In short, absolutely! Whether you’re a novice dater or on dating app rotations, it’s totally up to you on how to date. Rules and myths aside, date how you would want to be treated. Each date is unique, so the one size fits all doesn’t apply. Explore these dating myths and how simple it is to debunk them. Cheers to happy and healthy dating!